Animal Jokes — most commented jokes

Did you hear?

The Energizer bunny has been arrested for Battery.

A little old lady went to the grocery store & put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl:

- Nothing but the best for my little kitten.

The girl at the cash register said:

- I'm sorry, but we can't sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, & the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat.

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat & brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.

The next day, the old lady went to the store & bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies - one for each day of Christmas. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food.

Frustrated, she went home, came back & brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies.

The next day, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said:

- No - you might have a snake in there.

The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her.

So, the cashier put her finger into the box & pulled it out & told the little old lady:

- That smells like crap.

The little old lady grinned from ear to ear:

- Now, my dear, can I please buy 3 rolls of toilet paper?

"Outside a dog, a book is a great companion. Inside a dog, it's pretty dark!"

How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?...
→ Three in front and three in back...

What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel testicles?
→ SPARKY!!!

Good question...

Do dogs have fleas, or do fleas have dogs? hmmmm.

Why can't dogs use computers?
→ Because you can't stick your head out of Windows XP

What do a turtle and a blonde have in common?
→ When they're on their back their both fucked!

What do you call a mother cow that lost her calf?
→ "Decafinated"

There was an old man in a bar who was staring at a punk in the corner. The punk had multicolored, spiked hair and multicolored feather earings.

After a while the punk got mad and said to the old man:

- What are you staring at?

- Back when I was in the army I got really drunk one night and fucked a parrot. I was wondering if you were my son.