Animal Jokes — most commented jokes

Once there was this guy, and he was driving in his car, and all of a sudden, he sees the Easter Bunny hopping on the road. Well, he was going too fast, and he didn't hit the brakes in time, so he hit the Easter Bunny.

He was really upset, and was thinking:

- Oh no, what about all those poor little kids?? What can I do!?

Then, a blonde drove up in her car, and asked:

- What's wrong?

- I hit the Easter Bunny!! - said the guy.

- Oh, I know what to do - said the blonde, and she went into her car, got a can, and sprayed the Easter Bunny with it.

A few minutes later, the Easter Bunny got up, hopped a little bit, turned around and waved, hopped a little, turned around and waved, and it kept doing that. When the Easter Bunny was out of sight, the guy turned to the blonde and asked:

- Wow, I'm dying to know what was in that can!!

- Oh - said the blonde.

- It was hair spray. It says, 'Spray on dead hair for permanent wave.'

What did the snail say when he climbed onto the turtles back?
→ WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Interupting Cow

- Interupt.... MOO!!

How do you kill a blue elephant?
→ With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a pink elephant?
→ Twist his nose until he turns blue and then use the blue elephant gun.

What do you call a donkey with three legs?
→ A wonkey!

What do you get when a cow gets stuck in an earthquake?
→ A milk shake!

What's invisible & smells like carrots?
→ Bunny Farts!

Donald Duck walked into a drugstore & asked for a packet of condoms.

- Certainly, sir - said the lady behind the counter, shall I put them on your bill?

- NO WAY! - replied Donald Duck, What do you think I am, a Dickhead?!

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich.

He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts:

- Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!

The panda yells back at the bartender:

- Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!

The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:

- A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.

Ever walk into a room and forget what you came in for?

Well, that's probably how dogs spend most of their lives...