Animal Jokes — most commented jokes

How do you get a cut-price parrot?
→ Plant bird seed!

When is the best time to buy budgies?
→ When they're going cheap!

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
→ A headbanger!

What birds spend all their time on their knees?
→ Birds of prey!

What is a polygon?
→ A dead parrot!

What's brown and white and flies all over?
→ Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chain saw!

What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
→ A pecking order.

How do you identify a bald eagle?
→ All his feathers are combed over to one side.

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.

He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say:

- Jesus is watching you!

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

- Jesus is watching you - the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened.
Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot:

- Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?

- Yes - said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot:

- What's your name?

- Clarence - said the bird.

- That's a dumb name for a parrot - sneered the burglar.

- What idiot named you Clarence?

The parrot said:

- The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.

Why did the rooster cross the road?
→ To get to the chick across the street!