Most commented jokes

An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies:

- Well, my pet chicken, of course!

- I'm sorry, - The girl tells him.

- We can't allow animals in the cinema.

The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it's head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified.

She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers:

- Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!

Agnes whispers back:

- Oh, don't worry about it...you've seen one, you've seen them all.

Madge says:

- I KNOW...but this one's eating my POPCORN!!

What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode?
→ What a lavaly day!

What's green and purple and goes up and down?
→ Barney in an elevator.

How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
→ Down in the mouth!

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
→ Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore?
→ Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said:

- I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.

- You're a brave man, - said the dentist.

- Now, show me which tooth it is.

The husband turns to his wife and says:

- Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.

- I came in to make an appointment with the dentist. - said the man to the receptionist.

- I'm sorry sir. - she replied.

- He's out right now, but...

- Thank you, - interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient.

- When will he be out again?

- Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes.

- Patient: And how much will it cost?

- Dentist: It's $90.00.

- Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work???

- Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.

A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.

- Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?

- Dentist: Wear a brown tie!