Most commented jokes

Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German:

- What do you want on your back for your whipping?

The German responds:

- I will take oil!

So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.

The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican:

- What do you want on your back?

- I will take nothing - says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.

- What will you take on your back? - the Amazons ask the American.

He responds:

- I'll take the Mexican.

- Fred: You've got a Roman nose.

- Harry: Like Julius Caesar?

- Fred: No, it's roamin' all over your face.

- Fred: You have the face of a saint.

- Jill: Really? Which one?

- Fred: A Saint Bernard.

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?
→ The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream.

- What's that for?

- To make me beautiful.

Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean.

- Doesn't work, does it?

What is grey and hairy and lives on a man's face?
→ A mousetache.

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
→ Big holes all over Australia!

What do you call an elephant that flies?
→ A jumbo jet!

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
→ So he could hide in the cherry tree!

- We're going to play elephants and circuses - said a little boy at kindergarten.

- Do you want to join in?

- I'd love to - replied the teacher.

- What do you want me to do?

- You can be the lady that feeds us peanuts!