While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.
"That is the talking clock," the man replied.
"How's it work?" the friend asked.
"Watch," the student said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.
Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU JERK! It's two AM!"
- 1st Roman Soldier: What is the time?
- 2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII!
Do you know the time?
→ No, we haven't met yet!
Why is the time in the USA behind that of England?
→ Because England was discovered before the USA!
One day a man met three beggars. To the first he gave a dime, to the second a dime, and to the third a nickel. What time was it?
→ A quarter to three.
Why did the man put a clock under his desk?
→ He wanted to work overtime.
What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen?
→ Time to get it fixed.
Why did the kid put his clock in the oven?
→ He wanted to have a hot time.
What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?
→ A pocket watch.
- Julie: What time is it?
- Counsellor: Three o'clock.
- Julie: Oh, no!
- Counsellor: What's the matter?
- Julie: I've been asking the time all day. And everybody gives me a different answer!
