An Irishman joined the American Air Force and was making his first parachute jump. The instructor said:
- When you jump out of the plane, shout Geronimo and pull the ripcord.
When the Irishman woke up in hospital a few days later the first thing he said was:
- What was the name of that Indian again?
An American tourist was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to a farmer in the local pub.
- And have you lived here all your life, Sir? - asked the American.
- Not yet, m'dear - said the farmer wisely.
- Where's your pencil, Bud? - the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Britain.
- I ain't got one, Sir.
- You're in England now, Bud. Not ain't, haven't. I haven't got a pencil. You haven't got a pencil. They haven't got a pencil.
- Gee! Pop said things were tough in this country, but I didn't know pencils were so hard to come by.
Did you hear about the Polak who married an Amish woman?
→ He drove her buggy.
Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
→ On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover".
Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog? (hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem)
→ Because it leaves residues at each Pole.
How do you take census in a Polish village?
→ Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and subtract one for the Jew who catches it.
How do you know you're flying over Poland?
→ Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.
Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
→ No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.
Why aren't Hindu and Chinese people allowed to play hockey?
→ Because everytime they go into the corner they open up a convienent store.
