Most commented jokes

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says:

- Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now.

The mexican man pleads with them:

- No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says:

- Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence.

The Mexican man of course agrees.

The Border Patrol Agent tells him:

- The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence.

The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says:

- Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?

What do you call an intelligent man in America?
→ A tourist.

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
→ Turn off the carousel.

- Helga, tell me something. Why do Swedish men always have stupid grins on their faces?

- Because they're stupid - said her friend.

Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?
→ So the cops can find the handles.

What is the most common educational degree in New Mexico?
→ Kindergarten dropout.

How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Only one, but he'll tell everybody.

How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.

How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Scotsmen don't change light bulbs, it's cheaper to sit in the dark

How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ I dunno exactly, but my brothers girlfriends fathers boss secretary's sister's next door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.