Most commented jokes

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.

She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

Stick your tongue out.

Move it up and down.

Relax.

Now move it left and right.

Well done! You have now completed Christopher Reeves workout video.

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

- Mother: What does the cow say?

- Child: Moooo!

- Mother: Great! What does the cat say?

- Child: Meow.

- Mother: Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?

And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, "Bud."

The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom. "Kid's......there's good news and bad news." "The bad news is your mother's strength and will to live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she died a few moments ago" "The good news is.... It's steak and chips for dinner!"

What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night??
→ Hansons.

I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if, after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo. He said, "I'm doing surgery on your hand, not giving you a lobotomy."

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
→ One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... the other is used to carry groceries.

Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking out of the delivery room after his wife gives birth to their son. Michael says, "How long before we can have sex?"

The doctor says, "At least wait until he's walking."

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."