A young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?"
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it. "But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"
A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.
"Don't be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts."
A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling and her brother says...
"Now she knows."
G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The good guy gets the girl.
R: The bad guy gets the girl.
X: Everybody gets the girl!
It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with a pig's ass popping out. The first man says, "I wish that was Demi Moore's Ass." The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's Ass." Then the third man says, "I wish it was dark."
Experts say that although Frank Sinatra is dead, his act is still 150% more entertaining than Frank Sinatra Jr.'s.
Frank Sinatra, "Old Blue Eyes," has died.
Frank will now be known as "Old Closed Eyes."
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger.
"Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger.
"Fookin Jaysus," says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!"
Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
→ Two 5 year olds.
What's black and white and comes in little cans?
→ Michael Jackson
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
→ The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out
