Most commented jokes

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.

That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.

As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.

The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.

Some people ask the secret of Anthony's long marriage.

They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home.

The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.

A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked:

- Are they relatives of yours?

- Yes, - his wife replied. - I married into the family.

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends:

- The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!

An old granny overheard and spoke up:

- Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!

- Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

- Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

- Hubby: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

- Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

It's not what you say, but the way you say it.

On a blind date, the boy said to the girl:

- Time stands still when I look into your eyes.

The girl was very flattered.

What the boy had really meant was:

- You have a face that would stop a clock.

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.

A farmer replied:

- Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died.

- Well, - replied the man, - she must have had a lot of friends.

- Nope, - said the farmer, - we all just want to buy his mule.

A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.

He replies:

- Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes.

A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach.

The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, told him:

- If you wish to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder.

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him:

- Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying:

- She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!