Most commented jokes

- Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.

- All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.

- Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird. (SEC. 10-1.2)

- Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.

- Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.

- You may not fish on a camel's back.

- Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.

- A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.

- A law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view."

- No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored - nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits - nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436.600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.)

- It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.

- Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection with any religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.)

- All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. -KRS 252.130 (Passed in 1922 - Repealed in 1948)

- No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense. -KRS 436.320 (Passed 1893 - Amended in 1954, Ky. Acts ch. 232, sec. 1)

- It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.

- Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars." - KRS 436.140 (Passed in 1922 - Repealed in 1974)

- By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."

- It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

- A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission.

- It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.

- It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist.

- Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment.

- Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

- It is considered an offense to shower naked.

- You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

- It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.

- Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

- If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

- It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

- You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.

- Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

- It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

- A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

- Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

- It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail.

- It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.

- It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street. This law is limited to only those who do not own the house. (Repealed 2000)

- Sec. 10-56. While intoxicated, under influence of narcotics, prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired. (Code 1955, ? 28-64)

- Sec. 18-2. Weeds, trash, etc., as a public nuisance - removal by property owner or by city at owner's expense, notice and hearing, lien for expenses. (a) The existence of weeds, trash, undergrowth, brush, filth, garbage or other refuse on any lot, tract or parcel of land within the city which has caused the property to become, or which may reasonably cause the property to become infested, or inhabited by rodents, vermin or wild animals, or may furnish a breeding place for mosquitoes or threatens the public health, safety or welfare, or may reasonably cause disease or adversely affects and impairs the economic welfare of the adjacent property, is declared to constitute a public nuisance and is hereby prohibited.

- Sec. 22-44. Storage, depositing prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person, either as owner, occupant, lessee, agent, tenant, or otherwise, to store or deposit, or cause or permit to be stored or deposited, any abandoned, junked or discarded motor vehicle or motor vehicles upon any public or private property within the city. (Code 1955, ? 20-11)

- The molestation of trash cans is banned.

- Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.

- Sec. 3-1. Bird sanctuary declared. (a) It is hereby declared that all territory embraced within the corporate limits of the municipality shall be a bird sanctuary. (b) It shall be unlawful for any person within the municipality to shoot, trap or in any manner kill, wound or maim any bird of any kind, or at any time to throw at any birds of any kind any missile with slingshots or any other weapon, or to disturb their eggs or their young or their nests. (Ord. No. 8-59, ?? 1, 2, 8-10-59)

- Jupiter Inlet Colony: Inlet Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.

- Sec. 8-3. Bell or other warning device. No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet, but no bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle. (Code 1967, ? 8-3 Code 1980, ? 8-3)

- It is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

- A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.

- It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.

- Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.

- In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained.

- Sec. 12-23. Registration required, application, transferability, false statements. (a) All persons must complete and submit to the village an emergency contact registration form for their alarm if they operate or cause to be operated an alarm system in the village. A separate registration is required for each alarm system. Upon receipt of a completed registration form, the police department shall issue a numbered alarm sticker to the applicant to facilitate retrieval of registration information. (Ord. No. 97-17, ? 1, 10-14-97)

- Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances.

- Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.

- You may not catch crabs.

- If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.

- It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.

- It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

- A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.

- Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

- One-armed piano players must perform for free.

- Any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.

- The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.

- The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.

- Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.

- Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

Supplemental Rules for Bowling:

- If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".

- When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.

- After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.

- When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.

- After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair".

- If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized.

- A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.

A woman, while touring a small South American country, was shown a bullfight. The guide told her:

- This is our number one sport.

The horrified woman said:

- Isn't that revolting?

- No - the guide replied.

- revolting is our number two sport.

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where the heck she is.
2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.

The other guy says:

- That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you.

The first guy responds:

- Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years.