Most commented jokes

Airport immigration......

NAME: Muhammed al Facid
SEX: Yes 3 times a week.
NO I MEAN FEMALE OR MALE: Oh that doesn't matter to me, sometimes I even do it with camels.

One day John decides to invite Mark on a trip on his private jet. Whilst on this luxury aeroplane Mark asks where the toilet is. John shows him and says to him:

- inside there are 3 buttons, whatever you do don't press the third one.

Mark proceeds to the toilet and does his business. Whilst sitting on the toilet he presses the first button. Suddenly his privates are cleaned thoroughly. He enjoys this and presses the second button. Dryers appear and dry his privates. He is intrigued to find out what button 3 does, so he pushes it. The next thing Mark sees is John staring at him.....

- what happened? - Mark asks shakily.

- Well you pressed the third button and now you are in hospital.

- Why do my privates hurt so bad? - Mark asked anxiously.

John replies:

- Well you activated the automatic tampon remover.

Wilma and her husband Barney go to church every Sunday, and during the service Barney falls asleep. One afternoon Wilma goes to the priest and asks what she can do. The priest hands her a needle and tells her to prick him with it everytime he falls asleep.

The next week at church Barney falls asleep while the priest is talking and when the priest asks who is our savior? Wilma pokes him with the needle and he yells out JESUS!!

Soon after that he goes back to sleep. The next question the priest asks is: Who is Jesus's Father? Wilma pokes him with the needle and Barney yells out GOD!! and goes back to sleep. The last question the priest asks is what did Eve say to Adam after he impregnated her for the 99th time? Wilma pricks him with the needle again and he yells: IF YOU POKE THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!

2 blondes walk into a building..... Wouldn't you think at least one of them would have seen it??

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex.

- It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours - Clem recalled.

- That sounds wonderful - said Jed.

- Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us.

- Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?

- Baaaaa...

Your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please.

Your mamma is so fat when she goes swimming in the ocean she gets harpooned.

What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?
→ I scream

Yo mama so fat when she step on da scale it says to be continued

What do you find up a clean nose?
→ Fingerprints