Most commented jokes

One fall day, Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse going down the street, followed by another hearse, followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse and asked who was in the first one:

- My wife - the man replied.

- I'm sorry - said Dave.

- What happened to her?

- My dog bit her and she died.

Dave was taken aback.

- And who's in the second hearse?

- My mother-in-law. My dog bit her too and she died as well.

Dave asked:

- Can I borrow your dog?

- Get in line.

One day some guys were doing a survey between "boxers" or "briefs".

They went to a 25 year old man and said:

- boxers or briefs? - He said briefs.

They went to a 40 year old man and said:

- boxers or briefs? - He said boxers.

Then they went up to a 80 year old man and said:

- boxers or briefs?

And the old man replied:

- depends?

What do you call a buncha Blondes in a freezer???
→ Frosted Flakes

Yo Mommas so fat that even Richard Simmons makes fun of her!!!!

There was a hooker with a bunch of other hookers. The police came, and said for all of the girls to line up.

Then the hooker's gramma came and said:

- Why are all of you girls lined up?

The girl didn't want her gramma to know what she did for a living so the girl said:

- We're lined up to buy oranges

The police talked to every girl individually, and when they got to gramma the police said:

- How do you do it, you're so old?!?

Gramma says:

- It's easy, just peel it down and suck it dry!

What does the left leg of a nymphomaniac say to her right leg?
→ Nothing, they have never met.

Two guys, of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface.

After floating under blazing heat, for 6 days, they ran out of food and water. On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an old oil lamp (the kind that genies come in).

They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. Out popped a tired old genie who said:

- OK, so you freed me from the stupid lamp, but hey, I've been doing this 3-wishes stuff for a while now and quite frankly, I'm burned out. You guys only get 1 wish and then I'm outta here. Make it a good one.

The first guy, blurted out, without thinking:

- Give us all the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!

- Fine - said the genie - and he instantly turned the entire ocean to beer.

- Great move, Einstein - said the second guy, slapping the first guy in the side of the head.

- Now we're gonna have to piss in the boat.

A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00 pm news. The current news story was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump, when the station cuts to a commercial.

- Brunette: I bet you $20 he's going to jump.

- Blonde: OK.

(Back to newscast: He jumped!)

- Blonde: OK. I lost. Here's my $20 to you.

- Brunette: No, that was too easy. I can't take it.

- Blonde: I insist. I lost.

- Brunette: I have a confession to make. I saw the same thing on the 6:00pm news and I knew he jumped. So it wasn't really a good bet.

- Blonde: I know. I saw the same newscast at 6 too. But I didn't think he would be stupid enough to jump TWICE!

What protection does a nymphomaniac use during sex?
→ A bus shelter.

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar:

• Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
• Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
• Hand Job: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

- Yes? - she inquires with a knowing smile - can I help you?

- I was wondering - whispers the man - are you the one who gives the hand jobs?

- Yes - she purrs - I am.

The man replies:

- Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!