Medicine

What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres?
→ Surgical spirits.

What do you find in a zombie's veins?
→ Dead blood corpuscles.

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?
→ A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

An avid line dancing couple go to the doctor for a check up because they are having trouble remembering anything but, all the latest line dances. The doctor finds them in excellent health (of course), but suggests that writing things down may help their memories off the dance floor. That night the husband gets up to go the kitchen and the wife asks for a dish of ice cream, suggesting that maybe he write it down. He says "I don't need to write it down"

She says "Well I want Strawberries on it, so maybe you better write it down" "I don't need to write it down" He says and walks off in a huff. Twenty minutes later he comes back with a plate of bacon and eggs.

"I told you to write it down" she says, "You forgot my toast".

What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
→ Bronchitis (bronc-itis).

What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?
→ An encownter group.

What do cows get when they are sick?
→ Hay Fever

Tad answered the Tennessee State frat house phone.

"Hi," said the voice, "this is Rollie. Come on over, we're having a real wildass party."

"Shit, Ah'd shore love to," said Tad, "but Ah got me a bad case of gonorrhea."

"Bring it along!" answered Rollie. "The way thangs is goin', mah buddies'll drink anythin'!"

Higginbote and Goldstein, Fordham freshmen, were discussing what kind of work would supply them with big bucks after graduation.

"Well, I've always thought I'd like to be a doctor," said Higginbote. "Specialize in something or other. Like obstetrics, maybe."

"Obstetrics?" scoffed Goldstein. "At the rate science is going, you'd no sooner learn all about it when bingo! somebody'd find a cure for it."

Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus.

One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate, "I hear there's a new case of herpes in the dorm."

"Great!" said Baldwin. "I was getting tired of 7-Up!"