Medicine

- Nigel: You said the school dentist would be painless, but he wasn't.

- Teacher: Did he hurt you?

- Nigel: No, but he screamed when I bit his finger.

Fred's mother was on the telephone to the boy's dentist. "I don't understand it," she complained, "I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but you've charged me $80."
"It is usually $20, ma'am," agreed the dentist, "but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!"

- Monster: Doctor, doctor, I'm a blood-sucking monster and I keep needing to eat doctors.

- Doctor: Oh what a shame. I'm a dentist.

What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth taken out?
→ The dentist.

How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist?
→ Because they fought both tooth and nail!

What does the dentist of the year get?
→ A little plaque.

- I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy's tooth.

- Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!

"Yes," replied the dentist, "but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office."

- Patient: It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth.

- Dentist: I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.

- Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

- Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time.

- Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball game.