Clean Jokes

What do you call an ant who can't play the piano?
→ Discordant!

What do you call an ant with frogs legs?
→ An antphibian!

Who is the most famous French ant?
→ Napoleant!

Why did the ant-elope?
→ Nobody gnu!

Why don't anteaters get sick?
→ Because they are full of antibodies!

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall?
→ "Dam."

What did the baby chick say to his mummy when she laid an Orange?
→ "Look what Marma-Lade!!"

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years.

Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy.

The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. He enjoyed being prodded by his many friends who invariably poked fun at him.

Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

What did the rain cloud wear under his rain coat?
→ Thunder wear!

There were 4 monkeys in a tree.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?
→ It died.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
→ It was tied on to the first monkey.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
→ It got hit by the first two.

Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
→ Peer pressure.