Instrument Jokes

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?
→ The dog knows when to stop scratching.

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?
→ Violists.

Why are violas so large?
→ It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so small.

What do you call a person who plays the viola?
→ A violator.

- Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.

- Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.

What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
→ Half a measure.

What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
→ You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.

What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto?
→ Music Minus One.

How do you fix a broken tuba?
→ With a "tuba glue."

- Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital?

- Friend: I hope so.