Latest

What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone?
→ A lot of crackling on the line!

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau?
→ A wedding ring!

What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another?
→ A parson to parson call!

How did the telephones get married?
→ In a double ring ceremony!

How do Iranians speak on the telephone?
→ Persian-to-Persian (person-to-person).

Who invented the telephone?
→ The Phoenicians (phone-itions).

Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time?
→ Because she was an operetta (operator).

What kind of phone makes music?
→ A saxophone.

If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors, what do you get?
→ Snippy answers.

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had?
→ The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had!

What do you get if you cross teeth with candy?
→ Dental floss!

Why are false teeth like stars?
→ Because they come out at night.

What helps keep your teeth together?
→ Toothpaste.

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?
→ Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get?
→ Snappy talk.

Why is an engaged girl like a telephone?
→ Because they both have rings.

What did the man say when he got a big phone bill?
→ "Who said talk is cheap?"

What asks no question but demands an answer?
→ A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

How does a skeleton call her friends?
→ On a telebone.

Harry was madly in love with Betty, but couldn't pluck up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone.

'Darling!' he blurted out, 'will you marry me?'

'Of course, I will, you silly boy,' she replied, 'who is it speaking?'

A man and a couple of his friends had just finished a round of golf at the country club and they were changing their shoes when a cell phone on the bench rang. The man picked it up and answered it.

"Hi honey," said the woman on the other end.

"Hi honey," replied the man.

"I was just calling to tell you about this fur coat I found today. It's beautiful fox fur and I just love the way it looks on me. It's on sale too, a real bargain. It's down to $2000 from $4000. Can I get it?"

The man thought about it for a sec and said, "You're sure it's a good deal?"

"Oh yes," replied the woman.

"Okay then, I guess you can get it," replied the man.

The woman continued, "Oh, and you know how we've been thinking…

Kelso met Hensley on the street. "Hey!" said Kelso, "how come I never hear from you? Why don't you call me on the telephone?"

"You ain't got no tellyphone!" said Hensley.

"I know," said Kelso. "But you do!"

Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery.

"What's the matter?" asked Moody. "Are you in trouble?"

"No!" said Crumm.

"What do you want, then?"

"Nothing!"

"Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody.

"Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates is cheaper!"

The phone in Rigby's Georgia farmhouse rang one evening. When he answered, the operator said, "This is long distance from Chicago."

"I knowed it's a long distance from Chicago!" answered the farmer. "How come you called to tell me that?"

- Mother: Why was the phone busy all night?

- Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.