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When does a horse talk on the phone?
→ Whinny wants to!

What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone?
→ He grew up to be a bellhop!

How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone?
→ You get a tizzy signal!

How can you tell if someone who's just had a perm is on the phone?
→ You get a frizzy signal!

How does a door chime answer the phone?
→ Bella?

How does a lobster answer the phone?
→ Shello?

How does a cheerleader answer the phone?
→ H-E-L-L-O!

What did the answering machine say to the telephone?
→ Take my word for it.

How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?
→ They both have rings!

Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire?
→ She wanted to lay it on the line!

How do, like, really laid-back types answer the phone?
→ Mellow.

How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?
→ Yellow?

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler?
→ Ringworm!

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player?
→ A wide receiver.

- Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up, I can't understand you. You should really take something for that cold.

- Operator: Good idea. I'll take the rest of the day off!

What animals talk on the telephone the most?
→ The yakety-yaks!

What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster?
→ A wake-up call!

- Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away!

- Sorry, this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen.

- Oh. Well, in that case, please send over a pastrami sandwich!

- Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long distance calls any longer!

- Operator: Don't worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!

- Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance!

- Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!

- Party Host: Hello?

- Phone Caller: I'm trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Could you please ask if anybody at your party knows her?

- Party Host: I'd be glad to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
→ You get a buzzy signal.

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
→ Bell-bottoms!

- Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my boyfriend's line has been busy for an hour?

- Operator: No, but if you hum a few bars, I might be able to sing along with you.

When doesn't a telephone work underwater?
→ When it's wringing wet!