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A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car...
Who is driving the car?
→ A police officer!

How do they dance in Arabia?
→ Sheik-to-sheik (cheek).

Two fonts walk into a line dance club. The barman says to them, "Get out. We don't serve your type here."

Why did the line dancer cross the dance floor?
→ To get to the other (Electric) Slide!

Where can you dance in California?
→ San Fran-disco

What's a vampire's favorite dance?
→ The Fang Tango.

A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes:

- Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new...

He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away.

He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again:

- Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new...

He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away.

He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes:

- Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again...

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him:

- Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off.

The English prisoner said:

- Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?

The German replied:

- Ya, that vill not be a problem.

A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says:

- Well, could drop it over England like you did last time?

- Ya, that vill be done - says the German.

The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off.

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner:

- What are you charged with?

- Doing my Christmas shopping early - replied the defendant.

- That's no offense - said the judge.

- How early were you doing this shopping?

- Before the store opened - countered the prisoner.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Burglar

- Burglar who?

- Burglars don't knock!

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?
→ A Kong - vict!

What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar?
→ Robbery with violets!

What do you call a mayfly with a criminal tendencies?
→ Baddy long legs!

What do you call a robbery in China?
→ A Chinese take away!

Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?
→ Al Caprawn!

Why are burglars such good tennis players?
→ Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

What was the parrot doing in prison?
→ It was a jail-bird!

Why do pens get sent to prison?
→ To do long sentences!

Who was the world's greatest thief?
→ Atlas, because he held up the whole world!

Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles?
→ So he could break out.

What stars go to jail?
→ Shooting stars.

What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all?
→ A going-away party.

Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail?
→ Because it needs bailing out.

When did the criminal get smart?
→ When the judge threw the book at him.

What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals?
→ F.B.I.