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What's a vampire's favorite dance?
→ The Vaults.

What do baby swans dance to?
→ Cygnet-ure-tunes!

Why don't dogs make good dancers?
→ Because they have two left feet!

Which dances do the burgers do best?
→ The burger-loo and the char char!

An avid line dancing couple go to the doctor for a check up because they are having trouble remembering anything but, all the latest line dances. The doctor finds them in excellent health (of course), but suggests that writing things down may help their memories off the dance floor. That night the husband gets up to go the kitchen and the wife asks for a dish of ice cream, suggesting that maybe he write it down. He says:

- I don't need to write it down

She says:

- Well I want Strawberries on it, so maybe you better write it down

- I don't need to write it down - He says and walks off in a huff. Twenty minutes later he comes back with a plate of bacon and eggs.

How do you see that a linedancer came from Belgium and not from the Netherlands?
→ He wears the cardboard box on his boots.

What is good for your soul but not your soles?
→ Linedancing!

Who is tall, dark and a great dancer?
→ Dark Raver!

How do you make a tissue dance?
→ Put a little boogie in it!

- I've been invited to an avoidance.

- An avoidance? What's that?

- It's a dance for people who hate each other.

Where can you dance in California?
→ San Frandisco.

What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance?
→ A cricket ball!

What do you call someone who dances on cars?
→ A morris dancer!

What sort of dance do fish do at parties?
→ The conga!

What did the overweight ballet dancer perform?
→ The dance of the sugar plump fairy!

Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?
→ Because the top said:

- Twist to open.

What kind of dance do buns do?
→ Abundance.

What is the difference between a dancer and a duck?
→ One goes quick on her beautiful legs, the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.

What dance do you do when summer is over?
→ Tango (tan go).

What dance do hippies hate?
→ A square dance.

What dance did the Pilgrims do?
→ The Plymouth Rock.

What animals are poor dancers?
→ Four-legged ones, because they have two left feet.

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say:

- Jesus is watching you!

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

- Jesus is watching you - the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened.
Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot:

- Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?

- Yes - said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot:

- What's your name?

- Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?

- Joe: I won it in a race.

- Bill: How many people participated in it?

- Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!

Did you hear about the calendar thief?
→ He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!