Kids Jokes

- Camper: There's a leak over my bunk!

- Counselor: Don't complain. It only leaks when it rains.

A Counselor saw a camper sitting alone.

- Why don't you play with your friends? - he asked.

- Because I only have one friend - the girl replied.

- And I hate her.

What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love?
→ A stupid Cupid!

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?
→ He left lip prints on the mirror!

My teacher loves me - she puts kisses against all my sums.

Why did the clown wear loud socks?
→ So his feet wouldn't fall asleep.

Why did the clown cross the road?
→ To find his rubber chicken.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 6 year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew - gems in the rough, all of them - more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied:

- I've been working with a crew building a house all week.

- My goodness gracious - said the teller - and will you be working on the house again this week too?

- I will if those useless morons at the lumber yard ever bring us the f****** bricks - replied the little girl.

How many circus performers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Four: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!
→ Four. One to change the bulb and three to sing, Ta da!

- Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt?

- Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.