Instrument Jokes

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
→ To get away from the noise.

Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
→ So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?
→ A chainsaw can be tuned.

What's an accordion good for?
→ Learning how to fold a map.

How do you protect a valuable instrument?
→ Hide it in an accordion case.

What's the definition of perfect pitch?
→ When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.

What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?
→ No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

What's the range of an accordion?
→ Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

What is the definition of an optimist?
→ An accordion player with a pager.

Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"

Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"