Instrument Jokes

What do you get when you play a new age song backwards?
→ A new age song.

Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?
→ They've had little use.

What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?
→ Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?
→ A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!

How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?
→ When the other tenors notice.

What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?
→ About 10 pounds.

What is the missing link between the bass and the ape?
→ The baritone.

How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
→ He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.

"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."

"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies.

He manages to make contact with Abe the next day.

Abe says, "I can't believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?"

Max replies, "Well, it's great, but I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The good news is that there's a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we're playing "Sheherezade," your favorite piece, tomorrow night!"

Abe says, "So what's the bad news?"

Max replies, "Well, you're booked to play the solo!"