Instrument Jokes

What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test?
→ Drool.

What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
→ The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.

What's the definition of a quarter tone?
→ A bagpiper tuning his drones.

Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards?
→ So they can park in handicapped zones.

If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
→ The out of tune bagpipe player.
The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?
→ You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
→ To get away from the bagpipe recital.

How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
→ You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
→ He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?
→ Good question. We're still trying to find out too.