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Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed.

Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.

Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind

Yo mama so bald even a wig wouldn't help!

Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Let's see: One to spot the bulb, one to record the time the bulb burned out and the date it was bought, one to decide who's fault it is the bulb burned out and ask why that brand was chosen in the first place, ten to decide to remodel the house as long as they're changing the bulb

How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.

How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: Taureans don't like to change anything.

How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ One, but just try to convince them that the burnt out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs.
They're too busy changing them for everyone else.

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ So who wants to know? Why do you want to know? Are you a cop?

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None - they'd rather sit in the dark.