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How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?

How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out light bulb?

How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece.

How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Lightbulb?
What lightbulb?

How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Huh? The light's out?

How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: only the inner light matters.

How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Er, two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts, make that two. Is that okay with you?

How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the dark?

How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Well gee, I don't know really. I guess it depends on the bulb and where it burned out. It might perhaps take just one if it's just an ordinary bulb, but maybe two if the person doesn't know where to find a new light bulb, or perhaps ...

How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Leos don't change lightbulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out.

How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.

How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: A Leo would order somebody else to change it.

How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two. Plus a portable phone, an Internet link and a copy of the "Bluffer's Guide to Changing Lightbulbs."

How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two (of course) but it will take all week and when they're done the light bulb will do your homework, speak French and shine any colour you want from it.

How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two, but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs --- unless they're a legitimate business expense.

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: A Cancerian would worry herself to death with the problem.

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Just one, and they'll use a non-disposable diaper too!

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

- Boy: Do you have fever?

- Girl: No, why?

- Boy: Cause you look hot!!!!!

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."