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Why did the pig join a muscle-building class?
→ He thought "pumping iron" was a new juice dispenser.

Why did the pig go to the casino?
→ To play the slop machine!

Why did the little piglet fall in love with the hog?
→ Because he was such a sloppy dresser.

Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?
→ He loved to sing, "Oinkers Aweight"

Why did the little pig hide the soap?
→ He heard the farmer yell, "Hogwash!"

Why did the big pig want to go on stage?
→ There was a lot of ham in him.

Why do pigs have flat snouts?
→ From running in to trees.

Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?
→ He was a little shoat.

Why can't there be a Santa Pig?
→ Pigs don't fit in chimneys.

Why are there so many piggy banks?
→ Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress.

Why are pigs such great football fans?
→ They're always rooting.

Why are pigs such early risers?
→ Did you ever try to shut off a rooster?

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?
→ Cupigs!

Who is the greatest painter of this century?
→ Pigcasso!

Which of these jokes do the pigs like best?
→ The corniest ones.

Where is the most open green space in New York City?
→ Central Pork

Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
→ In his hog cabin!

Where do retired pigs go for warm weather?
→ The tropigs!

Where do bad pigs go?
→ They get sent to the pen.

Where did the piglets study their ABC's?
→ At a school for higher loining.

When pigs have a party, who jumps out of the cake?
→ Nobody. The pigs all jump in.

When pigs get a toothache, who do they see?
→ Painless Porker.

When is a pig an ecologist?
→ When he recycles garbage into ham.

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?
→ Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine?

What would happen if pigs could fly?
→ Bacon would go up!