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Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?
→ She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

Why wouldn't the bird let her chicks go near the pig pen?
→ She didn't want the pigs eating shredded tweet.

Why won't the witch let the traveling pig actors into her gingerbread cottage?
→ She's afraid they'll bring down the house.

Why won't pigs take up jogging?
→ They don't like to get that far from the table.

Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?
→ Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

Why isn't there a Superpig?
→ It's too hard for a pig to change clothes in a telephone booth.

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?
→ We're raising mashed potatoes.

Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig?
→ He knows a little ham goes a long way.

Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors?
→ Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues.

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?
→ Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig?
→ Pigs don't have red noses.

- Why do pigs run into trees?

- To shake out the alligators.

- I've never seen an alligator in a tree.

- That's because the pigs do such a good job.

Why do pigs love Halloween?
→ There's lots of hogsgobblin.

Why do pigs like February 14th?
→ They get lots of Valenswines.

Why didn't the pigs eat the rotten eggs in their feed trough?
→ They were saving the best for last.

Why didn't the piglets listen to the teacher pig?
→ Because he was an old boar.

Why didn't the Bionic Pig get a TV series of his own?
→ He made the mistake of going to a barbecue with the Bionic Man and the Bionic Woman.

Why did the spotted pigs run away?
→ They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.

Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?
→ It was Saint Patrick's Day.

Why did the piglets get in trouble in their stained glass class?
→ They stained it with mud.

Why did the piglets get in trouble in their biology class?
→ They ate all the specimens.

Why did the piglets do badly in school?
→ They were all slow loiners.

Why did the pig wear yellow coveralls?
→ He split a seam in his blue ones.

Why did the pig run away from the pig sty?
→ He felt that the other pigs were taking him for grunted.

Why did the pig join the Army?
→ He heard the food was a mess.