White House Basement
What is the basement where White House staffers work called?
→ The whine cellar.
What is the basement where White House staffers work called?
→ The whine cellar.
How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?
→ He's the stiff one.
What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life?
→ Grade six.
If Rodham gets health care, Bentsen gets treasury, and Aspin gets defense, what does Gore get?
→ Coffee.
You know what the problem with political jokes is, don't you?
→ They get elected.
What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver?
→ The bus driver stops to let the kids out.
The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress can't make death any worse than it is.
How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf?
→ Depends on how many were photographed.
Why did the Davidians commit suicide?
→ They were trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown?
→ The punch lines were too long in Jonestown.
What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common?
→ They were both cooked by a guy named "Dave".
What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
→ A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President?
→ A competent liberal President.
Why do liberals travel in threes?
→ One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
What's a conservative?
→ A liberal who made it through adolescence.
What is a conservative?
→ A liberal who's been mugged.
It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy.
A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.
The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican's pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.
Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman said, "I never pass up a chance to promote the party. For example, whenever I take a cab, I give the driver a sizable tip and say, 'Vote Democratic.'"
His opponent said, "I have a better scheme, and it doesn't cost me a nickel. I don't give any tip at all. And when I leave, I also say, 'Vote Democratic.'"
- Are you a member of any organized political party?
- No. I'm a Republican.
How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb?
→ None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.
What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had?
→ A mandate to govern.
How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes?
→ None. The democrats do that.
How many republicans does it take to disarm the law abiding public so that the government can enforce totalitarianistic and unconstitutional laws?
→ None. The Sociali--Democrats do that
Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.