These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign at a hotel:
- Help! We need inn-experienced people.
Sign in a science teacher's room:
- If it moves, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Sign in butchers window:
- Pleased to meat you.
Sign on auto body shop:
- May we have the next dents?
Sign at the dry cleaner's window:
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in an office:
- We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
Sign in a veterinary's waiting room:
- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
Sign on music teachers' door:
- Out Chopin.
Sign at the electic company:
- We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
Sign in beauty shop window:
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign for a litter of dachshund pups:
- Get a `long` little doggie!
Sign in a cafeteria:
- Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
In pencil beneath the sign:
- Socks can eat anyplace they want.
Sign on a music library's door:
- Bach in a minuet.
Sign in a restaurant window:
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign on an asphalt truck:
- Let us fill your crack!
Office sign:
- Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome.
Sign at a muffler shop:
- No muff too tough for us!
Sign on a government issue car:
- Fulton county disaster coordinator.
Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice.
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign on a Norfolk farm:
- Trespassers beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser. The ninth one just left.
Sign seen in London department store:
- Bargain Basement Upstairs
Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station:
- Closed for official opening.
Sign in a Paris hotel elevator:
- Please leave your values at the front desk.
Sign in a hotel in Athens:
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket:
- For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
Sign at fast-food place:
- PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!
Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
- Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop:
- Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Sign from the Soviet Weekly:
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in a Rome laundry:
- Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Sign in the window of a Swedish furrier:
- Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
Sign on the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
- Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kobe, Japan:
- Stop: Drive Sideways.
Sign in a Swiss mountain inn:
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in the office of a Roman doctor:
- Specialist in women and other diseases.
Sign in a Tokyo shop:
- Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
Sign from a Japanese booklet about using a hotel air CONDITIONER:
- COOLERS AND HEATERS: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
Two signs from a Morrocan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
At a restaurant in New York:
- Tip-ing is not a city in China.
Here is a great sign I saw in the grocery store:
- Snickers, 5 for 1.00$.(limit 4)
On a dock in Juneau, Alaska:
- Safety ladder, climb at own risk.
Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA:
- Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!
Emergency Evacuation Plan posted in various places around my office building:
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now."
An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."
Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."
On a store front in Florida: "Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor. Drive through open 24 hours!"
A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: "Smile, You're on Radar!"
Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station" (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) "Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a…
These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
Sign in a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE PER PRE-PACKED BAG DO-IT-YOURSELF
In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)
These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
Seen at the side of a Sussex road: SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.
Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME
Sign warning of quicksand: QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.
Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish: DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER
Notice in a dry cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
At my University's Student center Bathrooms: "If you see four feet instead of two under the bathroom door, please notify it immediately to the University Police."
In the hallway of a High School in New Jersey: "Our School: Commitment, Responsibility, Attitude, Persistance."
Road sign in Roosevelt, Utah: "Rest Area Next Right" - the next right leads a person right into to a cemetery.
A sign in the local opportunity shop says, "If your going to steal, then smile for the camera."
While stopped at an intersection I noticed a man standing on the corner in front of a Burger King. He was holding a sign that read "Will work for…
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Stud Tires Out
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles on Falkland islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herbes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Dear Kill 17,000
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us: Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut: The New York Times, November 22
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find: The Los Angeles Times, November 2
'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories: Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
Alcohol ads promote drinking: The Hartford Courant, November 18
Malls try to attract shoppers: The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Official: Only rain will cure drought: The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men: The Sunday Oregonian…
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Man shoots neighbor with machete: The Miami Herald, July 3
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes: The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows: The New York Times, March 10
Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies: The Los Angeles Times, March 2
Scientists see quakes in L.A. future: The Oregonian, January 28
Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning: The Buffalo News, February 26
Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold: Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26
Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer: Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Bible church's focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20
Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart: Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
March Planned For Next August
Blind Bishop Appointed To See
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip
L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through
Latin Course To Be Canceled--No Interest Among Students, Et Al.
Diaper Market Bottoms Out
Croupiers On Strike--Management: "No Big Deal"
Stadium Air Conditioning Fails--Fans Protest
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
