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Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
→ It takes too long to retrain them.

What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
→ An interpreter.

What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
→ A mental block.

What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
→ You only have to punch information into a computer once!

What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
→ You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.

Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
→ (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

How do you kill a blonde?
→ Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

How do blondes pierce their ears?
→ They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Why don't blondes eat Jello?
→ They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
→ All you can eat, under a buck.

What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
→ They both get easier to pick-up with age.

What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
→ They both wriggle when you eat them.

Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
→ So she could lip read.

What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?
→ They both have black roots.

How do you drown a blonde?
→ Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
→ Don't tell her to swallow.
→ Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Why do blondes have square boobs?
→ Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
→ 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
→ Three. . . one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
→ Two. . . one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.

What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?
→ If you're not in bed by 12, come home.

What's the blonde's cheer?
→ "I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B. L. O. N. . . . ah, oh well. . I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea. . . "

What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
→ Change.

Through infinite myst, software reverberates
In code possess'd of invisible folly.

Wilt thou dare interface
With thy Apple Macintosh keypad
By toggling my tweaky bosom?

Alack!

Leave laserjet laughter to the laptop lover.

Behold beta beauty in a keyboard's keen kindness.

Now yet torment thy melancholy hardware
By always vexing the amorous flame

Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
→ Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."

What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
→ Divorcee.

What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
→ "Nice tits!"

How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
→ Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
→ Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.

Why do blondes have legs?
→ So they don't get stuck to the ground.
→ To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
→ So they don't leave trails, like little snails.