Butter and Blonde
What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
→ Butter is difficult to spread.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
→ Butter is difficult to spread.
DO I HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO HAVE SAFE FAX?
→ Although married people fax quite often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day.
MY PARENTS SAY THEY NEVER HAD FAX WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG AND WERE ONLY ALLOWED TO WRITE MEMOS TO EACH OTHER UNTIL THEY WERE TWENTYONE. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SOMEONE SHOULD BE BEFORE THEY CAN FAX?
→ Faxing can be performed at any age, once you learn the correct procedure.
IF I FAX MYSELF, WILL I GO BLIND?
→ Certainly not, as far as we can see.
THERE IS A PLACE ON OUR STREET WHERE YOU CAN GO AND PAY FOR FAX. IS THIS LEGAL?
→ Yes. many people have no other outlet for their fax drives and Must pay a "professional" when their needs to fax become too great.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
→ Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
What does a blonde owl say?
→ What, what?
What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
→ It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
→ The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
→ Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.
Why do blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
→ Because they can spell it.
What is 74 to a blonde?
→ 69 plus G. S. T.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
→ Toes Go In First.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
→ Tits Go In Front.
What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
→ They both have a black box.
→ Both have a cockpit.
What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
→ Not everyone has been in a 747.
What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
→ Gee, are you sure it's mine?
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
→ Gifted!
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
→ Pregnant
Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
→ Because they can't even keep two calves together!
What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
→ Nothing. They've never met.
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
→ Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
→ By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
→ She'd just dyed her hair.
→ She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Why do blondes wear their hair up?
→ To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
→ You can park in the handicap zone.
What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
→ Hump me Dump me.
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out:
- GREEN SIDE UP!
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled:
- GREEN SIDE UP!
The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled:
- GREEN SIDE UP!
The lady then asked him:
- Why do you keep yelling green side up?
- I'm sorry - came the reply.
Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
→ They're doing research on black holes.