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Grow your own dope! Plant a blonde!

A little boy and a little girl, on a beach, are arguing. Little boy says to the little girl:

- I have a Nintendo!

Little girl says:

- Oh yeah, well I have a Sega and a Nintendo!

Little boy says:

- So, my dad's a doctor!

Little girls says:

- My dad's an astronaut!

Back and forth they went, each one trying to outdo the other until finally the little boy pulls down his shorts and proclaims, "But I have on of these!!!!" and shows the little girl his penis.

The little girl, not being able to retaliate, gets up and goes home. The next day, the little girl spots the little boy and proudly announces:

What's the mating call of the blonde?
→ "I'm sooo drunk!"

What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
→ (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
→ In case she locks the keys in her car.

What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
→ A wind tunnel.

What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
→ A dope ring.

How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
→ She drops her nail-file!
→ Who cares?
→ She says, "Next".
→ The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
→ He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
→ I mean, who really cares?
→ The batteries have run out.

What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
→ "Thanks for the refill!"

Why do blondes use tampons with extra long strings?
→ So the crabs can go bungee-jumping.

What does a blonde make best for dinner?
→ Reservations.

What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her name tag)?
→ "'Debbie'... that's cute. What did you name the other one?"

Did you hear about the blonde who...

- had more on her body than on her mind?

- was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?

- took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

- got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?

- was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient?

- had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?

- thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

- was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat?

- after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ "What's a lightbulb?"
→ One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
→ Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

What's a brunette's mating call?
→ Has that blonde gone yet?
→ When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
→ "All the blondes have gone home!"

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

- Cop: Do you know where you were going?

- Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad, cause all the people were leaving!

A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:

- Brunette: Last night I had three orgasms in a row!!

- Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over hundred.

- Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.

- Blonde: (looking shocked) oh, you meant with one guy...

Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
→ Because red means stop.

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
→ She moved.

Why do blondes wear underwear?
→ They make good ankle warmers.

What's a blonde's favorite wine?
→ "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
→ Cause their balls show!

Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
→ To see what was on the other side.

What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt?
→ A brain tumor.

A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off.

Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted this horse. So he ask the owner if he could lift him up so he could look at the horses eyes. The owner did as the midget asked, and the midget said "Oh my, thse got very pretty eyez".

Then the midget ask if he could lift him up so he could see her teeth, Then the midget said "Oh wow, thse got wonderful teeth. Then the midget ask if he could see her twat. The owner, being very pissed, picked him up, and rammed him in and out of the horse's twat.