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How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes - why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

How long will a floating point operation float?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Do vampires get AIDS?

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows?
→ It's the VCRdvard

Which aardvark holds the speed record?
→ The nearsighted aardvark, who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!

How do you define an aardvark?
→ Aan aanimal that resembles an aanteater!

A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked through the classified ads. He phoned a number he found and an elderly lady answered.

- How much are your aardvarks? - he asked.

- They're L6 each - came the reply.

- Did you raise them yourself? - inquired the man.

- Oh yes - she said.

- Yesterday they were only L5 each.

What has six legs, two arms, four eyes and a tail?
→ A man holding an aardvark.

- I've got a new aardvark. Would you like to play with him?

- I don't really know. I've heard it growling, it doesn't sound very friendly. Does it bite?

- That's what I want to find out.

Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky.

- 1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that.

- 2nd aardvark: You would, if your tail was on fire.

Who is the Lone Aardvark's faithful Indian companion?
→ Tanto

Who has a long nose, wears a mask, and sits tall in the saddle?
→ The Lone Aardvark!

What do you call a Polish aardvark?
→ A Polaark!