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- Our bank manager can't ride a bike any more.

- Why not?

- He lost his balance.

Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks.

- Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!

What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
→ The road.

- I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday.

- Farcical?

Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill, but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said:

- I didn't think we'd make it! - Jill replied:

- Nor did I - what a good thing I kept the brakes on, or we'd have slid all the way back down!

A little boy out riding his bicycle knocked down an old lady. She was a bit shaken, but got up, dusted herself off, then turned to the little boy and said:

- Don't you know how to ride a bike?

- Yes - he answered - but I don't know how to ring the bell yet

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself?
→ Because it was two-tyred.

Why did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him?
→ Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.

Which is the cheapest bicycle you can buy?
→ A penny-farthing.

- Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals.

- Juliet: Really?

- Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.

What do tigers wear in bed?
→ Stripey pyjamas!

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
→ When your nose touches the ceiling!

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?
→ Sleep on the sofa.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bed!

- Bed who?

- Bed you can't guess who I am!

I woke up, went for a walk, my head fell off and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A child walked up to me and said:

- Good grief, where are your feet?

I must have left them in bed!

Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
→ To draw the curtains!

Why did the boy take the ruler to bed?
→ He wanted to see how long he slept.

Why did the kid punch the bed?
→ His mother told him to hit the hay.

When is your mind like a rumpled bed?
→ When it isn't made up yet.

When does a bed grow longer?
→ At night, because two feet are added to it.

How can you shorten a bed?
→ Don't sleep long in it.

Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?
→ Because he is lying.

Why do you go to bed?
→ Because the bed will not come to you.

Why are rivers lazy?
→ Because they never get off their beds.

- Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I do?

- Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll be sure to drop off!