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Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?
→ To show the opossum it could be done.

Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas??? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."

What kind of doctor does a duck visit?
→ A Ducktor.

Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons?
→ He wanted to be a hentertainer.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
→ Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls (bagels, get it?).

What do you call a vulture with no beak?
→ A head banger.

- Teacher: What's a robin?

- Fred: A bird that steals, ma'am.

Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?
→ It was stuffed.

What do you get if you cross a giant, hairy monster with a penguin?
→ I don't know but it's a very tightfitting tuxedo.

Two owls were playing pool.
One said:

- Two hits.

The other replied:

- Two hits to who?

What did the scornful owl say?
→ Twit twoo.

What do Scottish owls sing?
→ Owld Lang Syne.

What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party?
→ You're not owld enough.

What do confused owls say?
→ Too-whit-to-why?

What does an educated owl say?
→ Whom.

What do you get if you cross an eagle with a skunk?
→ A bird that stinks to high heaven.

How do you make a tame duck wild?
→ Annoy it.

Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air?
→ Because eggs were going up!

What happens when geese land in a volcano?
→ They cook their own gooses!

Why does a rooster watch TV?
→ For hentertainment!

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
→ A brick-layer!

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
→ To stamp out forest fires!

What do you get from a drunk chicken?
→ Scotch eggs!

What kind of bird lays electric eggs?
→ A battery hen!

How do you stop a rooser crowing on Sunday?
→ Eat him on Saturday!