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A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.

When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.

The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was…

- Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?

- No, dear, what?

- A nice teapot.

- But I've got a nice teapot.

- No you haven't. I've just dropped it.

Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake?
→ The candles melted in the oven.

Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type 'Happy Birthday'

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.

- Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am - he said politely - but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread!

- That's right.

- Every day you wallop him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were hitting him with a chocolate cake....?

- Well, today is his birthday!

What does a clam do on his birthday?
→ He shellabrates!

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party?
→ He heard they were having upside-down cake!

Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?
→ He's trying to age disgracefully!

Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears?
→ I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!

Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
→ Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!

What do you always get on your birthday?
→ Another year older!

- Cat: What did you get him for his birthday?

- Dog: Pant . . . pant!

- Cat: Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
→ Because it was marble cake!

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
→ Because people kept toasting him!

For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater.
So they gave him a sumo wrestler!

- Were any famous men born on your birthday?

- No, only little babies.

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
→ When it's been sliced.

What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
→ Mice cream and cake!

- I got my wife a VCP for her birthday

- Don't you mean a VCR?

- No, a VCP . . . Very Cheap Present!

- This birthday cake certainly is crunchy.

- Maybe you should spit out the plate!

What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
→ A birthday pheasant!

What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake?
→ Shortcake!

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
→ Angel food cake, of course!

Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy?
→ He was celebrating his girthday!

How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party?
→ Look for his footprints in the ice cream.