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What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
→ Gifted!

I looked into a blonde's eyes, but all I saw was the back of her head!

What do you call 100 blondes standing ear to ear?
→ A wind tunnel!

What do you call a blonde standing between two brunettes?
→ A mental block!

Why don't you see blonde pharmacists?
→ They can't get the bottles into the typewriter!

Postcard from a blonde: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?

Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!

Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook?
→ She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!

I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts....
She gave me change!

What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
→ You always hear about them but never see any!

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
→ Pregnant!

How do you make a blonde's eyes shine bright?
→ Shine a torch in her ear!

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?
→ Tell her a joke on a Monday!

Did you hear about the blonde tap dancer?
→ She fell in the sink!

A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton?
→ It said "concentrate" on it!

Why did the blonde burn her ear?
→ The phone rang while she was ironing!

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
→ She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
→ Run - she is still holding the grenade!

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought:

- Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said:

- If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed:

- 157.

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said:

- I can't take this, you're my friend.

But the blonde insisted saying:

- No. A bet's a bet.

Then the redhead said:

- Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money.

The blonde replied:

- Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!

A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said:

- I think they could be bird tracks.

The second blonde went to look and said:

- No, I think these are deer tracks.

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.

- I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

- Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house?
→ Neither did he.