On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
- Be still, my heart - thought my friend.
- My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
Then the child spoke to the instrument:
- Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between pages.
- Mommy, look what I found - the boy called out.
- What have you got there, dear? - his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered:
- It's Adam's clothes!!!!!
- Doctor - said the patient:
- I need help! I can't stop acting like a cat!
- How long have you had this problem? - the doctor asked.
- Lest's see - said the patient:
- Mom had the litter in '41.
When you call a dog, they usually come to you.
When you call a cat; they take a message.
Why couldn't the cat speak?
→ The dog taped his mouth.
If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
→ An a-cat-emy award.
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
→ Because of the tree bark.
A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. - Excuse me - he said to the cat in charge:
- Can you get milk stains out?
- Sure - replied the cat.
- We'll have that stain licked in a minute!
What is an octopus?
→ An eight-sided cat.
What do cat actors say on stage?
→ Tabby or not tabby!
What is another way to describe a cat?
→ A heat seeking missile!
Why was the cat so small?
→ Because it only ate condensed milk!
When the cat's away.....?
→ The house smells better!
Which big cat should you never play cards with?
→ A cheetah!
- Teacher: Name four members of the cat family.
- Pupil: Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens!
Why are black cats such good singers?
→ They're very mewsical.
What do you call a black cat than can spring up to a six foot wall?
→ A good jumpurr!
What is a black cat's favourite TV show?
→ Miami Mice!
What's furry, has whiskers and chases outlaws?
→ A posse cat!
What did the black cat say to the fish?
→ I've got a bone to pick with you!
Why do black cats never shave?
→ Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas!
When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
→ When your a mouse!
Why did the cat sleep under the car?
→ Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
→ There was some money in the kitty!
Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning?
→ Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning!
