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What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?
→ He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!

What is another way to describe a cat?
→ A heat seeking missile!

What does a cat call a bowl of mice?
→ A purrfect meal!

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
→ Puss in boots!

What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws?
→ An acrocat!

Why was the cat so small?
→ Because it only ate condensed milk!

When the cat's away.....?
→ The house smells better!

Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
→ Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!

What cat purrs more than any other?
→ Purrsians!

On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
→ A caterpillar!

What do cats read in the morning?
→ Mewspapers!

Why do cats chase birds?
→ For a lark!

What kind of cat should you take into the desert?
→ A first aid kitty!

What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
→ A duck filled fatty puss!

Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit?
→ They are both ginger nuts!

Why do tomcats fight?
→ Because they like raising a stink!

What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?
→ A catameringue!

There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out.
How many were left?
→ None. They were all copy cats!

What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
→ Santa Claws!

How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
→ They never cry over spilt milk!

What is cleverer than a talking cat?
→ A spelling bee!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
→ A sourpuss!

Who was the most powerful cat in China?
→ Chairman Miaow!

Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
→ Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
→ An octopuss!