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What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
→ Santa Claustrophobia!

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
→ The letter "D"!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
→ It's Christmas, Eve!

What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes?
→ No-eyed-deer!

Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match?
→ Because they're both stopped by the rein.

How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
→ Don't feed it!

What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof?
→ Tired arms!

Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not?
→ Because it wasn't raining!

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
→ "A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
→ It was looking forward to Christmas!

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas?
→ Grave-y!

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
→ Your teeth!

What bird has wings but cannot fly?
→ Roast turkey!

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
→ The turkey - he's always stuffed!

What did the big cracker say to the little cracker?
→ My pop is bigger than yours!

- Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?

- No you can have turkey like everyone else!

Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys?
→ Because they soot him!

What's fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels?
→ Father Christmas on roller skates!

What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
→ Santa pause!

Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
→ Because they both have "Sandy claws"!

Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden?
→ Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
→ Santapplause!

Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck!

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
→ Santa Clues!

Can I have a broken drum for Christmas?
→ The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat it!