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What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a container of yogurt?
→ Yogurt has culture.

When will there be a woman in the White House?
→ When Hillary leaves town.

How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?
→ He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House.

- George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked.

- Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did - advised George.

The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom.

- Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked.

- Cut taxes and reduce the size of government - advised Tom.

Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost.

- Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked.

Abe replied:

- Go to the theater.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin?
→ Some of Stalin's subjects admired him.

How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?
→ One--she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

What's the differents between Bill Clinton and an elephant?
→ About 20 pounds and a jogging suit.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh?
→ Koresh only burned 85 people.

Why doesn't Bill like old houses?
→ He's afraid of the draft.

What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America?
→ - Never! I'm not going to let my wife run the country!!

How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane?
→ He seems to have thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night.

What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke?
→ - You idiot! I told you to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home!

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stands up and offers:

- If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.

- No - Clinton says

- That would be an ACCIDENT.

A girl raises her hand:

- If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy.

- I'm afraid not - explains Clinton

- That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.

The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.

Who would become President of the U.S.A if the President died?
→ Bill Clinton of course!

Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess?
→ Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good at Chess.
The last time they played best of five, Clinton won three games to two.

Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore?
→ Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.

How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike?
→ Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass.

Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
→ To meet the chick.

Clinton goes around telling people we humans are genetically 99.9% similar.
Apparently the 0.1% is the character gene.

If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury?
→ When he's sworn in.

Why can't Bill Clinton file a defamation of character suit against his critics?
→ Because Bill Clinton has no character to defame.

Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
→ To tax the chicken.

Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child?
→ Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control.

What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for?
→ If you divorce your wife in Arkansas, is she still your cousin?

Bill, Hillary, and Al are in a boat. The boat sinks.
Who is saved?
→ The United States of America.

What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician?
→ Chelsea.