Latest

- Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam.

- You're too tents.

- Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.

- Next please!

- You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork.

- That's because you've got your hand on my watch!

- You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork.

- That's because you've got your hand on my watch!

- Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift!

- Well tell her to come in

- I can't she doesn't stop at this floor!

- Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking?

- Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!

- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire.

- Necks please!

- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog

- What's wrong with that

- I think I'm going to croak

- Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming invisible.

- Yes I can see you're not all there!

- Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen

- Well sit down and write your name!

- Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet

- Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!

- Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake

- Sleep in another room then!

- Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains

- Well pull yourself together then

- Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!

- Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops.

- Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits!

- What, you mean those square ones?

- Yes!

- The ones you put butter on?

- Yes!

- Oh, You're Crackers!

- Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?

- You have a broken finger!

- Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?

- You have a broken finger!

- Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do?

- Saw the legs off of your bed!

- Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo.

- Are you stringing me along!

- Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog

- Your just playing too much croquet!

- Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.

- How long have you felt like this?

- Ever since I was a puppy!

- Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places

- Well don't go back there again then!

- Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold

- Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!

- Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder

- Great, can you help me with my accounts then please!

- Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling up!

- Just simmer down!