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Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
→ He was trying to make both ends meet!

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
→ A collie-flower!

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?
→ A petticoat!

What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog?
→ Chump chops!

What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk?
→ A Great Dane out!

What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
→ Well, doggone!

Who is the dogs favourite comedian?
→ Growlcho Marx!

What is the dogs favourite city?
→ New Yorkie!

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
→ Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?
→ A bud hound!

What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?
→ A dingo-ling!

What do you call a happy Lassie?
→ A jolly collie!

What dogs are best for sending telegrams?
→ Wire haired terriers!!

Where did the dog breeder keep his savings?
→ In bark-lays bank!

- Small girl: I'd buy that dog, but his legs are too short!

- Clerk: Too short? Why, all four of them touch the floor.

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other:

- I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.

- Odd, but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do - her companion replies.

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him.

- Two dogs, please - says one.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in oil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers.
Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously:

- What part did you get?

Why does a dog wag it's tail?
→ No one else will do it for them

What side of the dog has the most fur?
→ The Outside.

What goes "krab, krab, krab"?
→ A dog barking in a mirror.

What did the puppy say when he sat on sand paper?
→ RUFF!

What kind of dog does a dracula like?
→ A Bloodhound.

Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog?
→ So that they didn't have to bend down to pet it.

What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
→ It stole the show!

When is a strange dog most likely to go into your house?
→ When the door is open.

Why is a dog's nose in the middle of it's face?
→ Because it's the scenter.