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How do you stop a dog smelling?
→ Put a peg on it's nose!

Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?
→ Because they mess up the whole house!

How many seasons are there in a dogs life?
→ Just one, the moulting season!

What's a dog favourite hobby?
→ Collecting fleas!

What is a dogs favourite flower?
→ Anything in your garden!

What dog wears contact lenses?
→ A cock-eyed spaniel!

What is a dog's favourite food?
→ Anything that is on your plate!

What is a dog's favourite sport?
→ Formula 1 drooling!

What do you call an alcoholic dog?
→ A whino!

What do dogs have that no other animal has?
→ Puppy dogs!

What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena?
→ I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs!

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
→ That hit the spots!

What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?
→ A sausage dog!

What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?
→ A dog that chases cars - and catches them!

When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house?
→ When the door is open!

What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
→ Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

Where do Eskimos train their dogs?
→ In the mush room!

What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?
→ An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!

Why did the dog wear white sneakers?
→ Because his boots were at the menders!

What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?
→ A jet setter!

What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
→ He stole the show!

Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
→ Because you can't bury them in trees!

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
→ His bark was much worse than it's bite!

Why do dogs wag their tails?
→ Because no one else will do it for them!

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?
→ I must throw that doggie out the window!