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How can you tell a dog from a tomato?
→ The tomato is red.

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods?
→ Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!

Why do dogs run in circles?
→ Because its hard to run in squares!

Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?
→ Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell tall stories?
→ A shaggy dogs tale!

What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
→ A dusky husky!

How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?
→ Melon-collie!

What do you call a dog with no legs?
→ It doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come!

What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow?
→ Slush puppies!

What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
→ A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?
→ Hush puppies!

What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?
→ A sheep that can round itself up!

What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
→ A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead!

What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller?
→ A computer with a lot of bites!

What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table?
→ He gets splinters in his mouth!

What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
→ Dingo Starr!

What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole?
→ A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree!

When is a black dog not a black dog?
→ When it's a greyhound!

What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road?
→ A mutt in a rut!

Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat?
→ Cats can't drive!

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
→ The collie wobbles!

What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater?
→ A plain clothes police dog!

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
→ A guard dog!

What kind of dog chases anything red?
→ A bull dog!

When does a dog go "moo"?
→ When it is learning a new language!