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What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats like a dog, but isn't a dog?
→ A pup.

What is worse than a dog howling at the moon?
→ Two dogs howling at the moon.

What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?
→ If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.

What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella?
→ The umbrella can be shut up.

What is taller when it sits down than when it stands up?
→ A dog.

What is black and white and red all over?
→ A Dalmatian with a bad sunburn.

What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour?
→ A double crosser.

What is a baseball dog?
→ One that chases fowls.

What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 feet?
→ A thousand dogs.

What happened when the shaggy dog swallowed a teaspoon?
→ He wasn't able to stir.

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?
→ He made a spectacle of himself.

What did the dog use to make his kite?
→ Flypaper.

What did the dog take when he was run down?
→ The license number of the car that hit him.

What did the dog say when he chased his tail?
→ This is the end.

What did the dog say to the pig?
→ You are just a bore.

What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684?
→ The wrong answer.

What did the dog do with the history professor?
→ They got together and talked over old times.

What did the dog do when the panhandler put the bite on him?
→ Bit him, naturally.

How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?
→ Put him in your back yard.

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?
→ He foamed at the mouth.

How did the dog make gold soup?
→ He put in 24 carrots.

How did the dog make anti-freeze?
→ He stole her blanket.

How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at night?
→ He used a skeleton key.

How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight?
→ Delighted.

How can you tell a dog from an elephant?
→ The elephant remembers.