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Why should you never watch a video with a Chihuahua?
→ It always plays with the "paws" button on the VCR.

A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking.

- Didn't I see you on a TV commercial?

- How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?

What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?
→ A short one!

What is a Chihuahua's favorite sport?
→ Miniature golf!

- Was your master playing catch with you?

- No, I was playing throw with her!

What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?
→ A tennis ball!

What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?
→ Lap-top!

How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped you to set up your computer?
→ With dog diskettes!

Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard?
→ They're all paws.

What kind of dog is a person's best friend?
→ A palmatian!

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
→ That hit the spots!

What do you call a boring dog?
→ A dull-mation!

- Dad, I spotted a Dalmatian!

- No need to, it already has its own spots!

What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian?
→ A spot-weiler!

The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him. He drove around the neighbourhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopped beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog. "You mean the one following your car?" they asked.

I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay.
It's fun to call him...
"Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane.
Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.

Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could draw. His dog's name was "T-Square", and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which he did with no sweat.

The accountant said he thought his dog, "Balance", could do better.

He told him to fetch a dozen cookies and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem.

The chemist said that was a very good stunt, but that his dog, "Apothecary", could do better yet. He told his dog to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. Apothecary did this without a hitch.

All three men agreed their dogs were equally smart. They turned…

A man and his son were shovelling the driveway after a heavy snowfall when their dog, Lady, wandered away from them. Man, fearing the dog might be hit by car, shouted angrily: "Lady! Lady! Get over here right now!" The dog charged happily back over to them, accompanied by a commuter who had been standing at the bus stop. "Yes, sir, what can I do for you?" she asked.

- My dog is great at math.

- Really?

- Ask him how much is two minus two.

- But two minus two is nothing!

- That's what he'll answer, nothing!

Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s?
→ He puts down the three and carries the one.

Would you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or a tiger?
→ I'd rather have him chase the tiger.

Why was the mother flea so unhappy?
→ All her children had gone to the dogs.

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?
→ He wears a coat and pants.

Why is a dog like a baseball player?
→ He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.

Why doesn't a dog ever have a nose 12 inches long?
→ Because then it would be a foot.